ROCKY vs. CARMAN

Rocky vs. Carman

I recently saw the latest “Rocky” installment, “Rocky Balboa”. I was very impressed with Sylvester Stallone’s ability to bring the Rocky character back to the big screen in a respectble manner. In the movie, Rocky Balboa’s return to the ring is based on a computer generated fight which concludes that in his prime, Rocky could beat the current heavy weight champion. This concept got me thinking. What would happen if Rocky Balboa were to to face another champion? Carman: The Champion. That’s right. You decide. Cast your vote for either Rocky Balboa or Carman by commenting on this post. Please be sure to include why you believe your pick would dominate.

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25 Comments so far

  1. Zack on December 31st, 2006

    Rocky…

    Rocky is the man, and well, Carman is…Carman.

  2. drew on January 1st, 2007

    carman is a tard twice over. that is to say,
    a retard.

    Rocky wouldn’t even fight him, because he’s too nice of a guy.

    but if Carman pushed him, Rock would beat his a$$.

    I just said a$$, like at Burger King. :-)

  3. Jordan on January 1st, 2007

    I’m going to have to say Rocky as well. Carman is a bit of a pretty boy. I specifically remember his double-brested suit on the cover of “Carman: Revolution”…Rocky probably spends about as much time in the gym as Carman spends on his fake tan…

  4. Kristin on January 1st, 2007

    Lets see…I do feel as though Carman and I go back…way back.You see, when I was a child I attended one of his concerts and watched it from someones shoulders and I still remeber the impact it had on my life. However…Rocky’s biceps could knock anyone down with a mere tap. My choice is…the ITALIAN STALLION!

  5. Jordan on January 1st, 2007

    FOLLOW UP: Anyone ever wonder why Carman has chosen the “only go by your first name” thing? I can tell you. His last name is LICCIARDELLO! (Lick a what!?) Anyway, you would do the same…Again, I think Rocky could knock Carman into the last decade…Of course, Carman would probably be happy there. At least his music would be popular again.

  6. Brandon Holt on January 1st, 2007

    Well, I think it would be a pretty even fight. But then Carmen would get cocky and start singing “Rocky Bite The Dust” and Rocky would propably start laughing really hard, which is most people’s reacction to Carmen’s singing. There would be no winner because Carman would start rapping about how he is A 2 J, and a real black person would pop a cap in him!!! Thats how it would end!!!

    Peace-

  7. Beth on January 2nd, 2007

    Jordan. I couldn’t let this go on and just not say something. This is out of hand. (a bit).

    Of course* Carman and Rocky would never fight.(I think Carman would win.)

    *The only occurence that would be possible would be a Celebrity Deathmatch and unfortunately for Mr. Licciardello, they don’t make that color of clay. Anywhere. Even Wal-Mart.

  8. Beth D on January 2nd, 2007

    Well the match up would between Carmen and Rocky would be easily won by Rocky. Carmen’s lack of originality would cause him to wait and observe Rocky’s style then when he was attempting to do the “christian” version of Rocky he would get suckered punched and be down for the count.

    There is however the outside chance that “The Champion”…could step in a save the day for Carmen since he is an example to young believers!!!

  9. Whitney on January 6th, 2007

    Here’s how a little run-down between the Italian Stallion and the “Champion” of Contemporary Christian Corn would play out in the ring:

    Round One
    Ding! Ding!

    Official: Let’s have a fair fight, you know the
    rules
    Carman: And I know you know the rules.
    You’ve been twisting them to deceive my
    people for years.
    Rocky: Huh?
    Carman: Satan, Bite the Dust!
    Rocky: Satan?
    Carman: They don’t call you a SOUTHpaw for
    nothing!
    Mickey: You’re gonna eat lightning, and you’re
    gonna crap thunder!
    Carman: Sounds like A Witch’s Invitation to me!
    Rocky: Hey, you ain’t Tony Danza! I taught I was
    fightin Tony Danza danight! Yo, who’s dis
    joka I’m in da ring wit?
    Carman: Who’s in the house? J.C.!
    Rocky: Yo, you on drugs?
    Carman: I’m addicted to Jesus!
    Rocky: Well, I’m the Italian Stallion
    Carman: Make my day!

    Round Two
    Ding! Ding!

    Mr. T.: I pitty da fool who sticks around to watch
    dis fight!
    Rocky: Yo, your face looks like the meat I used to
    practice on!
    Carman: This blood is for you!
    Rocky: You’re a bum!
    Carman: I’m about to start a R.I.O.T. up in
    here…that’s Righteous Invasion Of Truth to
    you, Satan!
    Rocky: I am NOT Satan…I’m a good catholic boy.
    Carman: Sunday’s on the Way!

    (Carman and Rocky both take a hard hit and are knocked to the floor)

    Official: Ten!
    Mickey: Down, down, stay down!
    Official: Nine!
    Carman: Revive Us, O Lord!
    Official: Eight!
    Adrian: It’s suicide! You’ve seen him, you know
    how crazy he is. You can’t win!
    Official: Seven!
    Mickey: Don’t listen to her! Women weaken legs!
    Official: Six!
    Carman: Lazarus, Come Forth!
    Official: Five!
    Rocky: Yo, Adrian!
    Official: Four!
    Carman: Yo Kidz!
    Official: Three!
    Apollo: Now, when we fought, you had that eye of the tiger, man; the edge! And now
    you gotta get it back!
    Official: Two!
    Carman: The eye of the tiger? How bout the Lion of Judah!
    Official: One!
    Carman: (singing) “He has won! He has won! He’s
    alive forevermore, He has risen…He
    is Lord, He has won!”
    Official: Actually, you both lose because neither of you got up.
    Rocky: I feel like a Kentucky Fried idiot.
    Carman: It was my first hit since the early 90’s.

  10. Kristin on January 9th, 2007

    Mad Props to the cuz on her creative skills!!!
    You made me laugh out Loud!

  11. Beth D on January 10th, 2007

    After reading the Whitney post I fear my cousin may be recruited by Carmen ministries to write all 26 songs on his next album. They will be sung and choreographed to sound like a Christian version of the newest Justin Timberlake CD.. Go Whit!

  12. Meghan on January 31st, 2007

    That was stinkin’ hysterical, Whit! :-D

  13. [...] a weekly series of posts called Sacred vs. Secular. These posts will be similar to my post about Carmen vs. Rocky. Anyway, today’s Sacred vs. Secular is Testamints vs. [...]

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  17. Candy on November 15th, 2008

    CARMAN

  18. Candy on November 15th, 2008

    CARMAN. Come on, people. He’s the man behind The Champion. That says it all.

  19. Talybra on June 6th, 2010

    It is like soooooooooooooooo obvious that Carman has pec implants in that dumb movie. He is no match for Stallone and was trying to BE Stallone in ‘The Champion’ which of course was a box office flop and was financed by TBN anyway. Carman will end up needing one of Kramer’s man brassieres. Wonder if he still has the implants in, they are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay obvious.

  20. Jeff on June 12th, 2010

    Carman Liquor-bordello is his rep on the net Muuuaaaahhhhhh!!

  21. nanciesweb on January 30th, 2011

    Neither, after a few swings, the director would yell “cut!” then they would both get a bite to eat.

    THEY’RE ACTORS for crying out loud! :D

  22. vicky on May 11th, 2011

    @nanciesweb
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….so true. Who ever the script writer says will win. LOL

  23. Rhonda Lynn on July 3rd, 2011

    It is true that Carman has a nice face: Yet,
    it takes more guts to serve the Lord in this world
    than to be an image in a movie. I’m sure that he
    could knock hell out of any man both physically and
    spiritually. Being a man of God is of greater glory.

  24. Rhonda Lynn on July 3rd, 2011

    P.S. I am for Carman, all the way!!!
    S.O.S. 5:10- 11

  25. Rhonda Lynn on July 4th, 2011

    I have to comment on the Jordan comment about Carman’s fake tan.
    “HE’S ITALIAN”…

    In the right mind, we call it PIGMENTATION. Now, consider how silly your comment was, and be kind to the of God. Please.

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