ROCKY vs. CARMAN
2006 December 31
I recently saw the latest “Rocky” installment, “Rocky Balboa”. I was very impressed with Sylvester Stallone’s ability to bring the Rocky character back to the big screen in a respectble manner. In the movie, Rocky Balboa’s return to the ring is based on a computer generated fight which concludes that in his prime, Rocky could beat the current heavy weight champion. This concept got me thinking. What would happen if Rocky Balboa were to to face another champion? Carman: The Champion. That’s right. You decide. Cast your vote for either Rocky Balboa or Carman by commenting on this post. Please be sure to include why you believe your pick would dominate.
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Rocky…
Rocky is the man, and well, Carman is…Carman.
carman is a tard twice over. that is to say,
a retard.
Rocky wouldn’t even fight him, because he’s too nice of a guy.
but if Carman pushed him, Rock would beat his a$$.
I just said a$$, like at Burger King.
I’m going to have to say Rocky as well. Carman is a bit of a pretty boy. I specifically remember his double-brested suit on the cover of “Carman: Revolution”…Rocky probably spends about as much time in the gym as Carman spends on his fake tan…
Lets see…I do feel as though Carman and I go back…way back.You see, when I was a child I attended one of his concerts and watched it from someones shoulders and I still remeber the impact it had on my life. However…Rocky’s biceps could knock anyone down with a mere tap. My choice is…the ITALIAN STALLION!
FOLLOW UP: Anyone ever wonder why Carman has chosen the “only go by your first name” thing? I can tell you. His last name is LICCIARDELLO! (Lick a what!?) Anyway, you would do the same…Again, I think Rocky could knock Carman into the last decade…Of course, Carman would probably be happy there. At least his music would be popular again.
Well, I think it would be a pretty even fight. But then Carmen would get cocky and start singing “Rocky Bite The Dust” and Rocky would propably start laughing really hard, which is most people’s reacction to Carmen’s singing. There would be no winner because Carman would start rapping about how he is A 2 J, and a real black person would pop a cap in him!!! Thats how it would end!!!
Peace-
Jordan. I couldn’t let this go on and just not say something. This is out of hand. (a bit).
Of course* Carman and Rocky would never fight.(I think Carman would win.)
*The only occurence that would be possible would be a Celebrity Deathmatch and unfortunately for Mr. Licciardello, they don’t make that color of clay. Anywhere. Even Wal-Mart.
Well the match up would between Carmen and Rocky would be easily won by Rocky. Carmen’s lack of originality would cause him to wait and observe Rocky’s style then when he was attempting to do the “christian” version of Rocky he would get suckered punched and be down for the count.
There is however the outside chance that “The Champion”…could step in a save the day for Carmen since he is an example to young believers!!!
Here’s how a little run-down between the Italian Stallion and the “Champion†of Contemporary Christian Corn would play out in the ring:
Round One
Ding! Ding!
Official: Let’s have a fair fight, you know the
rules
Carman: And I know you know the rules.
You’ve been twisting them to deceive my
people for years.
Rocky: Huh?
Carman: Satan, Bite the Dust!
Rocky: Satan?
Carman: They don’t call you a SOUTHpaw for
nothing!
Mickey: You’re gonna eat lightning, and you’re
gonna crap thunder!
Carman: Sounds like A Witch’s Invitation to me!
Rocky: Hey, you ain’t Tony Danza! I taught I was
fightin Tony Danza danight! Yo, who’s dis
joka I’m in da ring wit?
Carman: Who’s in the house? J.C.!
Rocky: Yo, you on drugs?
Carman: I’m addicted to Jesus!
Rocky: Well, I’m the Italian Stallion
Carman: Make my day!
Round Two
Ding! Ding!
Mr. T.: I pitty da fool who sticks around to watch
dis fight!
Rocky: Yo, your face looks like the meat I used to
practice on!
Carman: This blood is for you!
Rocky: You’re a bum!
Carman: I’m about to start a R.I.O.T. up in
here…that’s Righteous Invasion Of Truth to
you, Satan!
Rocky: I am NOT Satan…I’m a good catholic boy.
Carman: Sunday’s on the Way!
(Carman and Rocky both take a hard hit and are knocked to the floor)
Official: Ten!
Mickey: Down, down, stay down!
Official: Nine!
Carman: Revive Us, O Lord!
Official: Eight!
Adrian: It’s suicide! You’ve seen him, you know
how crazy he is. You can’t win!
Official: Seven!
Mickey: Don’t listen to her! Women weaken legs!
Official: Six!
Carman: Lazarus, Come Forth!
Official: Five!
Rocky: Yo, Adrian!
Official: Four!
Carman: Yo Kidz!
Official: Three!
Apollo: Now, when we fought, you had that eye of the tiger, man; the edge! And now
you gotta get it back!
Official: Two!
Carman: The eye of the tiger? How bout the Lion of Judah!
Official: One!
Carman: (singing) “He has won! He has won! He’s
alive forevermore, He has risen…He
is Lord, He has won!â€
Official: Actually, you both lose because neither of you got up.
Rocky: I feel like a Kentucky Fried idiot.
Carman: It was my first hit since the early 90’s.
Mad Props to the cuz on her creative skills!!!
You made me laugh out Loud!
After reading the Whitney post I fear my cousin may be recruited by Carmen ministries to write all 26 songs on his next album. They will be sung and choreographed to sound like a Christian version of the newest Justin Timberlake CD.. Go Whit!
That was stinkin’ hysterical, Whit!
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CARMAN
CARMAN. Come on, people. He’s the man behind The Champion. That says it all.
It is like soooooooooooooooo obvious that Carman has pec implants in that dumb movie. He is no match for Stallone and was trying to BE Stallone in ‘The Champion’ which of course was a box office flop and was financed by TBN anyway. Carman will end up needing one of Kramer’s man brassieres. Wonder if he still has the implants in, they are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay obvious.
Carman Liquor-bordello is his rep on the net Muuuaaaahhhhhh!!